today

I’ve spent the day learning basic bike mechanics and it’s been great! I wasn’t sure how much I’d enjoy it, but I’m looking forward to putting my new found knowledge into practise! We managed to be outside for the whole day, having to shelter for one shower, but we weren’t disrupted too much.

Tonight I have a friend coming over for dinner. The cheesecake is already made (baked yesterday) so there’s not a lot left to do. Now I’m going to relax in front of the TV and look forward to a relaxing evening!

thankfulness

• my assignment is finished!
• I’m feeling better today (I’ve been a bit off colour the past two days)
• the sun is out again today
• our house buy is moving along slowly (we’re expecting to receive the survey results next week)

Practically done!

The assignment is practically done! The first part is over its word count, and the second part is slightly under. So a bit of cutting, a final conclusion and it should be finished! I still have over a week before it’s due, so I’ll leave the final edit for a few days, coming back to it with fresh eyes. After all the struggle at the beginning I’m actually quite pleased with it. Yay!

Meme

I’ve seen this around blogworld recently, and thought I’d have a go. Kathryn invited anyone to have a go, so here it is!

Rules: The rules of the game get posted at the beginning. Each player answers the questions about himself or herself. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

Ten years ago: I was sitting my first year exams at Loughborough Uni. My degree was in Engineering Physics, and I’ve not used it since! About this time I would also have begun to date my now husband! (The relationship ended in July ‘98 but we got back together in Mar ‘01)

Five things on today’s “to do” list:

1) Gardening - weeding mainly.

2) Read draft assignment, cover it in questions, edit it and hopefully complete it!

3) Clean the house - bathroom especially, and the kitchen floor.

4) Prepare for tomorrow’s sunday school group (done)

5) Wash the towels (done)

Things I’d do if I was a billionaire:
Re-decorate my new house before I move in (new bathroom and kitchen included). Buy a peaceful getaway home (by the coast or in the lake district). I always used to have a dream of a church which provided for all the needs of its community from the one (mega) building. I’m not sure whether I would build this now or whether I’d fund a youth project or something. I’d definitely do something community orientated.

Three bad habits:
1) Having to read blogs before I start work in the morning. (This one will have to change when I change jobs)

2) Putting my hands/fingers over my mouth, touching my nose. It’s a comfort thing.

3) Watching far too many soaps!
Five places I’ve lived: It was great to only have three addresses to write on my last CRB check!

1) Parents home in Surrey

2) Loughborough Uni (halls, then two student houses)

3) Bury, Manchester

4) Leicestershire (village then back to Loughborough for a year)

5) Back to Surrey again!

Five jobs I’ve had:
1) Saturday assistant in a bakery

2) Scanning Electron Microscope Operator! (part of my degree year in industry)

3) Youth worker

That’s it! Though the youthworker has taken different forms.

 

questions

My questioning switch has been switched on again. After a study group last week we were encouraged to question more. I then read through my last assignment which had lots of questions written all over it. So now I’m writing my next assignment and reading through lots of reflections on working with individuals which I’ve written for the assignment, and I’m asking more and more questions about it! This is great apart from the fact that I haven’t got the time or space to explore them right now! I’m glad in some way that I’m getting back into asking questions as it will help me explore and learn more (something which I’ve slowed in recently). But for now I just want to make progress on my assignment. The hope is to have draft 1 completed by the end of the weekend. Then next weekend I’ll read it through, write questions all over it and then edit, edit, edit until I’m happy!

thanks

Another list of things in my week that I’m grateful for.

• returning to our car after getting lost on a tandem ride (a 12 mile ride became a 23 mile one!)
• my body and mind holding up on the said tandem ride!
• the sunshine and warmth we have (up until today) been blessed with
• new relationships at the church on the hill
• the books I got from my college library last week (they may be dull, but they contain some wisdom!)
• lots of time to spend with my hubby (I know this will change when I start my new job, and he gets busy over the summer)

journals

I have two journals (apart from this one that is). I have a prayer journal, which is really my personal journal, where I share everything with God from prayers of praise to prayers of desperation. I’ve been writing this journal since 1998! I also have a work journal. This is relatively new to me, as I’ve gone through keeping recordings of my work, to blogging on a private blog, and now to writing reflections connected with my work in a journal. It was my study which prompted the writing of reflections on my work, and now I think I’m happy with the format I’ve settled on - my relatively new work journal. The key principles for my journals are that I write in them when I want to, which tends to be at least once a week. This freedom means that when I do write and reflect, I am motivated to do so, and the reflections are actually useful to me!

Then there’s this place! The focus is really just my life, stuff I want to remember, stuff that I want to think through that doesn’t belong in my other two journals! Over the years I’ve been blogging, the focus has changed from time to time, but I enjoy blogging and I guess that’s why I do it. I also really enjoy reading it back, reliving some of the memories.

relax

I’ve been worrying about how little work I’ve been doing. In fact there is probably more than I think, but I’m not as busy as I used to be in my old role. In some ways this is great, I worry less, sleep more and am generally more relaxed, but last weekend I was really worried that I wasn’t doing enough and I was wasting my time and therefore my employer’s time too. But today I’ve been reassured. I’ve been given a couple more things to do that I will complete in the next week, and I’ve been encouraged to build for the long term. Relationships take time to build. I knew that of course, but with only two months full time to go, I was beginning to wonder if I was wasting it. With a more long term perspective, I can pray, listen, learn, and wait. Wait for the opportunities, for God to open doors. I’m in this for the long haul, it’s just that it’s starting with a three month full time stint, and will then decrease rapidly to voluntary, before building back up to a days worth of work if I’m lucky. Working for the church on the hill is very different, and it is taking quite a bit of getting used to, but I’m loving it.

learning ahead

This post is all about my study, specifically my self assessment. I have to do one of these at the end of a 18month period of study. It has to record my learning over that time in four different areas. I last wrote one back in November, and I’m now two months into the second study period, so I thought now would be a good time to look back at my last assessment, especially at my areas for further learning, and remind myself of them! Feel free to pass by this post!

Maintain a professional frame of reference - I need to develop my ability to question and challenge young people to aid their learning.

Reflecting in and on action - I need to make reflecting IN action a priority. This will help me to make the most of all opportunities for learning.

Appreciating feelings, ideas and experiences - I need to think more often from a young person’s point of view when reflecting on practice. I need to be clearer and more confident in the way I communicate with young people and staff.

Managing yourself - I need to read more widely and use the library better. I need to implement changes more (these are more changes about myself than the work) and I planned to use action points to do this.

It is interesting to note that some of these points have occured to me this week (which led me to look back in the first place.) I think it would also be true to say that I have been working at some of them this study period.  Now the difficult thing is to really act on these points, and reflect more and learn. In fact a lot of it involves a change in the way I think and act and that’s the hard bit. I had thought a change of role would mean certain difficulties would go away and I’d learn different things, but I think I’m finding that my weaknesses just work themselves out in a different (thankfully less painful) way. I’m glad I’ve taken the time to go back over my last self assessment and list these points. They are my action points if you like. They now need to be printed out and stuck up on my ’study wall’ along with my assignments. Then it will be time for action and change!

this week

I’m an introvert, and after quite a few quiet weeks where I’ve been enjoying my own company, this week I’ve been out and about lots meeting with lots of different people. It has been draining - physically and emotionally. I’ve found I’ve needed my sleep again, and on a couple of days I’ve had afternoon naps. I’ve always found these essential to keep me going when work is busy. (How I will cope moving to work in an office and having set hours I don’t know! I’ll have to adapt somehow.)

I’ve been really frustrated with myself this week as I seem to be questioning myself lots, especially after meeting with people, and the way I’ve been feeling about myself has declined day be day. I’m really glad of my afternoon and evening in this evening to blog, journal, relax and re-energise. I’m wondering whether it is possible to change the way I’ve been this week, or whether it is just part of me and I need to accept it or adapt. I feel like I’ve been battling this one for years and haven’t really got very far. Does anyone else tell the voice in their head to shut-up frequently? (I can be heard going around the house saying shhh out loud to myself.) So today I’m wondering whether I just need to not plan so many meetings in one week and recognise my need for ‘me’ time to re-charge and love myself again.