• Assignment posted today
• Most things are packed, move on Friday
• Summer activities at work start tomorrow - I’m fishing, going to littlehampton, football training and then ending with the summer jam!
• Car is not well, causing lots of stress and money loss
• Looking foward to going to New Wine next week
• Still living life day by day, trying not to worry!

I am loving my new job, and am getting used to the changes it has brought - mainly the hours I work. I still have to figure out when and what to eat when I’m working a long day and evening! Four egg mayo sandwiches in one day was a bit much!

Today we were supposed to exchange contracts on our new house. It hasn’t happened but we hope it will tomorrow. Then we’re into packing mode! We move at the end of a really busy week for me work wise and a day before hubby goes of for 10 days of work and two days before I go on holiday! Our life for the next month will be out of boxes! And I’ve also got an assignment to improve before sending it off just three days before we move!

This afternoon I started to read the long list of blogs I regularly read. It took me far too long, so I’ve cut the list drastically. I’ll eventually get into a routine of when I read blogs, check emails and even write on this one! I also have a hope of starting a food blog, but that will have to wait a while. Most plans are on hold now until the end of August - by which time I hope to be settled in a new home as well as a new job!

I feel like my world has been turned upside down - probably because it has (a bit). With this new job, I’m going to busy when hubby isn’t, and not busy when he is! I’ve not had to work today, and although I’ve had some stuff to do, I’ve been bored and missing hubby who is out working. I’m not sure how I’m going to organise my three day weekends now, but I do want one day to be a sabbath. I guess the point of this day is to renew myself - spiritually, physically and emotionally. Here’s some thoughts of how I might spend that day each week.

• baking! A new recipe each week, that I can give away to someone at work or church.
• reading! Taking the time to escape into a different world, or even challenge my thinking on a something.
• get outdoors! This will be difficult without the car, but whether it’s by foot or by bike getting out into the beautiful countryside.
• god time! Whether church or just an extended quiet time, I need to chat over my week with God and just chill out with him.

That’s plenty to fit into a day! Now I just have to decide whether it will be a Friday, Saturday or a Sunday. I guess I will just have to try them all out. Friday (today) hasn’t worked as there have been lots of things to sort out that I haven’t been able to attend to during the week. This may change as I get used to work, or I might still use my Fridays to complete chores. Of course, I have study commitments regularly on Fridays, so I think they’re out for a sabbath. I can’t have a sabbath tomorrow (Dr Bike) but I could on Sunday (even though I am involved in the church family service.) Sunday it is for this week then! Church in the morning (by bus?), a gentle walk home through the woods. Lunch. Baking. Prayer journal. Tea. Bath. Bed with a book. The perfect sabbath perhaps?!

I started my new job on Tuesday and it is great. I’m loving hearing about all the projects, and having met some of the young people and workers I am feeling good about getting stuck in. I’ve been a bit hesitant about getting involved, but having talked this through with my supervisor I’m ready to jump in next week. It’s been a tiring week, I worked twelve hours one day! I’m glad of today to unwind and begin to think about other aspects of my life - study, prep for church stuff this weekend.

I’ve just spent the past hour or so reviewing the last three years of my life, especially the last year which has been quite difficult. And the message that came out of it - God is faithful. He is amazing. He has been there for me over the past year and without him I wonder where I would be right now. He has guided me and led me on to the next challenge. In my joy this morning, I just want to encourage people whatever their life is like right now, whatever kind of day they’re having that God is faithful and he will see you through! AMEN!

It’s been a strange week so far and I’m looking forward to my quiet day tomorrow.  It’s my last week working for the church and I’m feeling it. I’m quiet, thoughtful and a little sad. I’m really looking forward to starting my new job next week and I guess I’m preparing myself for it. I can feel myself slowly disconnecting from things and being ready for the change. I’m ready. I’m ready and eager once again for the challenge that lays ahead. But first I need to finish my last five days of working for the church. I’ve not got a lot to do. The hardest task is going to be packing up the office! Right now I’m heading off to a bible study, followed by my last official meeting with my line manager (she’ll continue to be my pastor, but is only my line manager for 5 more days).

Today - tuesday - normally my day off, not today.

I knew that I would be spending the day doing bike maintenance training, so I was planning on having most of tomorrow off and yesterday I didn’t work my full hours either, so it would all work out. So today was a working day. At least it was, but the trainer had to leave our session at lunchtime. We then began to see today once more as a day off. We relaxed, did our usual dithering over how to spend the time and expected to work a bit tomorrow. Then we heard that our meeting tomorrow was cancelled - a full day off now possible at last! So back to work we went! I’m feeling very confused, and as a planner, this working/not working/working again is rather stressful! But if I do another hour or so’s work today, then I’ll have the whole day off tomorrow! I’m completely confused as to how many hours I’ve worked, but as long as everything is done by the end of the week, everyone is happy!

So now my thoughts turn to tomorrow - I have a whole day off with no plans yet of how to spend it!

I’m a bit teary today, I was yesterday too. I’m not sure whether this is the last wave of emotion surrounding the events of the past year as I come towards leaving working for the church. I am aware that I could create an opportunity to reconcile and I don’t know whether to take it. Is it best to let it lie, or should I try and do what would be really difficult for me and ask the questions I have and share how hard it has been for me. I’m not sure that I’m strong enough to meet with them again, but I know if I do it will be a learning experience.

I’m also a tad lonely. This seems a bit daft, hubby has only been away three days! But I miss having him to talk to. Talking out these things often helps me cope with my emotions. Instead I feel like they are controlling me. I nearly started crying in a planning meeting last night! Talking on the phone isn’t the same, and he’s usually distracted by what’s going on around him. He’ll be home in four days, and the weekends plans of baking a birthday cake for my dad and then sharing a family meal to celebrate are bound to cheer me up again!

I’ve just agreed a start date for my new job! July 1st!

This is so scary! I keep thinking that I’m not good enough, that this is too big a step, that I will fail … and yet I am reminded (by hubby) to trust God on this one.

Little by little, life is progressing. And I’m not sure I want it to! 

Current job - this morning we finished delivering leaflets for the event we’re holding at the church on the hill on Saturday. I’ve bought materials this afternoon, and I’m ready to set up the church tomorrow morning. This progress is great, I’m loving the different things I’m doing, and the fact that its relaxed, laid back and I’m not overwhelmed with stuff to do!

New job - CRB check is through, we’re now trying to sort a start date! This is very scary! I’ve become quite comfortable at the church on the hill. There is a part of me that is looking forward to the new job, but if I could push it back further and further I would. The fact is that I will never feel ready, it will be scary, but once I’ve got the first few months under my belt, I hope I will be loving it and growing rapidly! So I’m going to start when they want me to (most likely beginning of July!)

New house - The survey has been done (we’re waiting for it to be written and posted to us). The estate agent reckons we could be exchanging contracts by the end of the month! I’m no longer excited about this, its dragged on too long. If I think about it at all, I worry too much about the whole financial commitment! I’m sure the excitement will return, probably when we exchange contracts and have a date for completion. Then my spare time will be spent packing!

Study - I’m enjoying it again, and I’ve started reading for the next assignment due at the end of July. I’m once again trying to get the best out of the process - developing my work journal, and wanting to make the most of supervision. The extra time I have is really helping me study, as I have more time to read etc.

The strange thing is that I feel quite settled in this period of transition. The desire for the new job and new house has decreased slightly, I’m happy with my cosy life as it is! But the change will happen, and it will bring excitement when it happens. I only have a month of this cosy life left, so I’m going to enjoy it as much as I can. That means using the spare time I have to relax, read and get ahead on my studying!