My new job

I started my new job on Tuesday and it is great. I’m loving hearing about all the projects, and having met some of the young people and workers I am feeling good about getting stuck in. I’ve been a bit hesitant about getting involved, but having talked this through with my supervisor I’m ready to jump in next week. It’s been a tiring week, I worked twelve hours one day! I’m glad of today to unwind and begin to think about other aspects of my life - study, prep for church stuff this weekend.

slowing down

It’s been a strange week so far and I’m looking forward to my quiet day tomorrow.  It’s my last week working for the church and I’m feeling it. I’m quiet, thoughtful and a little sad. I’m really looking forward to starting my new job next week and I guess I’m preparing myself for it. I can feel myself slowly disconnecting from things and being ready for the change. I’m ready. I’m ready and eager once again for the challenge that lays ahead. But first I need to finish my last five days of working for the church. I’ve not got a lot to do. The hardest task is going to be packing up the office! Right now I’m heading off to a bible study, followed by my last official meeting with my line manager (she’ll continue to be my pastor, but is only my line manager for 5 more days).

Little by little

Little by little, life is progressing. And I’m not sure I want it to! 

Current job - this morning we finished delivering leaflets for the event we’re holding at the church on the hill on Saturday. I’ve bought materials this afternoon, and I’m ready to set up the church tomorrow morning. This progress is great, I’m loving the different things I’m doing, and the fact that its relaxed, laid back and I’m not overwhelmed with stuff to do!

New job - CRB check is through, we’re now trying to sort a start date! This is very scary! I’ve become quite comfortable at the church on the hill. There is a part of me that is looking forward to the new job, but if I could push it back further and further I would. The fact is that I will never feel ready, it will be scary, but once I’ve got the first few months under my belt, I hope I will be loving it and growing rapidly! So I’m going to start when they want me to (most likely beginning of July!)

New house - The survey has been done (we’re waiting for it to be written and posted to us). The estate agent reckons we could be exchanging contracts by the end of the month! I’m no longer excited about this, its dragged on too long. If I think about it at all, I worry too much about the whole financial commitment! I’m sure the excitement will return, probably when we exchange contracts and have a date for completion. Then my spare time will be spent packing!

Study - I’m enjoying it again, and I’ve started reading for the next assignment due at the end of July. I’m once again trying to get the best out of the process - developing my work journal, and wanting to make the most of supervision. The extra time I have is really helping me study, as I have more time to read etc.

The strange thing is that I feel quite settled in this period of transition. The desire for the new job and new house has decreased slightly, I’m happy with my cosy life as it is! But the change will happen, and it will bring excitement when it happens. I only have a month of this cosy life left, so I’m going to enjoy it as much as I can. That means using the spare time I have to relax, read and get ahead on my studying!

relax

I’ve been worrying about how little work I’ve been doing. In fact there is probably more than I think, but I’m not as busy as I used to be in my old role. In some ways this is great, I worry less, sleep more and am generally more relaxed, but last weekend I was really worried that I wasn’t doing enough and I was wasting my time and therefore my employer’s time too. But today I’ve been reassured. I’ve been given a couple more things to do that I will complete in the next week, and I’ve been encouraged to build for the long term. Relationships take time to build. I knew that of course, but with only two months full time to go, I was beginning to wonder if I was wasting it. With a more long term perspective, I can pray, listen, learn, and wait. Wait for the opportunities, for God to open doors. I’m in this for the long haul, it’s just that it’s starting with a three month full time stint, and will then decrease rapidly to voluntary, before building back up to a days worth of work if I’m lucky. Working for the church on the hill is very different, and it is taking quite a bit of getting used to, but I’m loving it.

info overload

I was at a youth strategy meeting this morning which covered a wide area and a lot of people. It was worthwhile going, but left me reeling from information overload. I then went straight from there to another meeting where we we rushing to make decisions about an event that is about a month away. I came home to a relaxing cup of tea before heading off to my new work place to get a CRB form checked. Home again for some blog reading, cooking dinner and now I have just completed the days admin tasks. I’m about to convert the office to our guest room as my Dad is coming to stay the night. Then there is a bible study to prepare for later this week. That is just today. Tomorrow I have two meetings and I’m hoping to go up to London in the evening. Thursday I have three meetings, and then two again on Friday! It’s a busy, busy week, but I’m gaining lots of knowledge to help me in my work at the church on the hill. I just hope I can digest all the info I’ve received today before I learn more tomorrow!

I’m also trying to decide whether to go to New Wine this summer. Reasons to go include getting to know people from church better, and getting some spiritual input. Reasons not to go are the new house and new job will all just have happened and perhaps I should stay at home. Another option would be to go on a retreat by myself (or another conference if the dates work) in the gap between my current job and the next. However, that time is more or less earmarked for sorting out the new house! Decisions, decisions!

church on the hill

I’ve just completed my first week at church on the hill. I’ll be working with them full time for the next few months and then we plan to commit to be there as just plain parishoners as I start my new job. This new role involves youthwork for the church and the community, and I’ve had a relaxed week getting to grips with things. Today was my first sunday, and the kids were very well behaved (I’m told this is not normal!)

Hubby and I are very pleased to be joining the church on the hill, and they are very glad to have us. For the next week, we will be on holiday, before returning and getting fully stuck in to working for them!

me, a youth worker?

What is it about my character, my abilities that makes me a youthworker? Am I the kind of person people come to for help?

A few years ago, I would have been convinced of a yes answer to that second question, but now I’m not so sure. Now I know myself better. But this journey of self awareness and knowing my self will continue till I die. So, here and now, am I a youth worker in person as well as in role?

First, my passion, my desire. It isn’t burning strong today, but I do have a desire to help young people in their lives, more specifically those who have a difficult start in life. I probably need to work on showing this passion, the fact that I care, to people. I keep myself so tightly bound up. I need to realise that it is me I bring to my work and that this is important. I need to give something of myself. Give more of who I am, because this is what the young people want to get to know.

Secondly, my ability to relate to young people. I do find it easier to build relationships with young people than with adults. I still have to take a deep breath before making new contact, but I can do it, and I love it when I know them well and can take a real interest in their lives. And some of them do talk to me. Of course, there are other volunteers who perhaps others will relate to better, but I think I am a helping person (like the book) but perhaps I am letting it get lost a little.

Thirdly, my character. Does being an intovert matter? No, but I need to find a way of being an introvert and wanting to go and work with people. I feel that I let my emotions rule me too much, and I’m doing my job because I have to rather than because I want to. This adds to my helping person vibes getting lost.

Currently, I know I am still acting out of hurt, I am still bitter and angry at times. I don’t feel like loving people, I am not myself, at least I’m not the worker I want to be, the worker I hope I am. A worker who loves, cares, acts from this place of care rather than a place of professionalism. (Not that there is anything wrong with professionalism.)

I have to hope that when I move on, that the youthworker within me begins to shine again. All I see when I reflect on myself is my bad attitude, and not giving all I should. I need to have hope that I have the qualities needed, its just that they have got a little lost lately. I can help them resurface, work on them and make them shine.

That’s my prayer, that the youthworker within me will shine. Or that Jesus within me will shine.

It probably hasn’t helped that my definition of a youthworker has changed over the past few years. So here’s a list of characteristics I desire : passion and drive, loving and caring for young people, an ease in building relationships, reflective, seeking opportunities for informal education, able to make quick judgements, able to handle responsibility, able to cope with demands of outcomes etc, be in control and yet not overbearing, allow the young people to flourish.

Are you Really Managing?

Back in September, I went to this training day, organised by Grooms-Shaftesbury. I found it really useful, and have gained understanding, but haven’t yet put much into practice. Anyway, here’s my reflections as I review the notes we were given (and scarily look at the things I wrote during the day for me to take action on!)

We looked first at some theories of what motivates people. Looking at the things that motivate people (sense of achievement, recognition, responsibility etc) I wonder how much of this I actually give to volunteers. I could probably do better. Looking at the list of things that demotivate, I can identify at least two that have demotivated me in my current role. I hope I don’t display any of these to my volunteers, but I’d probably need to ask them that.
The difficult but useful thing I need to do is to understand what motivates my volunteers. Each one will probably be different, and will therefore have to be motivated by me differently! There are some I think I could guess at, but I really need to pick up the courage and just ask them! As we began to identify what motivates each one of us during the training day, it brought real understanding to the way we work. I think this would be useful for the volunteers too.
We were given four key motivations, can you recognise which one you are?
- a person who likes to get things done (task orientated - this is me)
- a person who likes to be with people (people orientated)
- a person who likes the work itself (vocation orientated - this is different from task orientated)
- a person who likes to be recognised for what they are doing (praise orientated)
We were encouraged to think of signs for each of these different motivations. There was quite a crossover between some of them, though a few things were distinct for each one. I’m still not sure I can identify different people’s motivations though. I think a discussion about this with volunteers would be useful (not just for me, but for them too I hope.)
The last question in this section was about how we can motivate these different types of people. I have a few answers (that were given on the day) but I still don’t find this easy. However, this section on motivating people was the most eye opening of the day, and I feel it could really impact my work - if I can figure out what motivates people and how to motivate them for my own situation!

We then moved onto managing and developing people. There were four key points we looked at:
- being clear about role and responsibilities
- being clear about goals and what needs to be done to achieve them
- providing on-going coaching and supervision
- evaluating performance together against agreed goals
We covered some simple job description stuff (which reminds me I must go back and look at the ones I created over the summer, I never did distribute them to my volunteers!) We also talked a lot about goals. Now I love setting goals (I’m task motivated remember!) but there was a useful coaching process suggested for when you’re helping someone else set their goals. The stuff we did on coaching and supervision was also useful. Having been on the receiving end of some really good supervision this past year I now know the benefits of it. This training made me realise that I should be coaching / supervising those I am managing. Just relating those words together made something click in me. It was as if I caught a glimpse of how a good manager should be! The exercise where I took the role of a coach told me I had a lot to learn, but I’m excited with this new way of seeing management.
As I am half responsible for managing our year out worker, I feel I have learnt a lot I can put into practice with her. There’s also a lot to use with my volunteers, but I have a feeling that will take a bit longer. All in all, a great day which brought me new insights into the way I manage people.

Soul Survivor Highlights

• The BBQ we had as a group on the Thursday evening. Steaks, taste the difference sausages and fellowship (and it wasn’t raining!)
• Hearing the stories of the boys playing risk in the early hours of the morning, in the boys toilets! (This happened two nights in a row, and they had up to 22 people watching them at one stage!) I was asleep during both games!
• The young people just looking after each other
• A special moment where I felt affirmed by God.
• The morale of the group stayed high, despite the rain and the cold! Not a single grumble was uttered in my presence, not even on a very long coach journey (the coach arrived to pick us up an hour late, and we arrived home three hours late! thats a 5 hour coach journey!)
• Mike Pilavachi’s talk on the Thursday night. There were three main points is I remember right- don’t idolise people, some second point related to something christians do, don’t gossip in church. Actually there was a lot more to it than that, but I agreed with all he said and may even buy the CD of the talk I liked it that much. He just said stuff that needed to be said, and that the church needs to listen to. (Jim Yost on Tuesday night was very good too)

A great week, and my best soul survivor yet (though definitely the worst weather!) So now I’ve got a week of work before Greenbelt! September is approaching very quickly!

Need Sleep!

I’ve had a great few days but am now in great need of sleep! Sunday afternoon I hopped on a train. After arriving in the rain, I was very glad that our new ‘not our home’ house is very near the station! I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening sanding the kitchen walls and cleaning all the cupboards. I also found time to strip one wall of wallpaper in the dining room. Monday was spent stripping more wallpaper and then painting the kitchen. Hubby joined me Monday night and took me out for pizza. Tuesday we sanded and painted two whole rooms and ordered a new carpet for one of them! We worked hard. I ached, and I still ache (my right arm especially.) I also didn’t sleep well as we were sleeping on a hard floor, and for some reason I’m no good at that any more. I reckon I got somewhere between 4 and 6 hours sleep for the two nights I was there. Tuesday night we drove home, and then got up after 7 hours sleep to help at the childrens fun morning at church. I spent the afternoon planning house group and getting some rest. (And then attended and led house group which went really well.) Thursday, that’s today right? I’ve been with 13 of our young people, making them revise and then enjoying cake, pizza and a film to celebrate their hard efforts. I got home half an hour ago and I’ll be out in less than an hour to go bowling with pretty much the same group of young people (really did not plan that one well!). Tomorrow - a long lie in followed by lunch with an old friend. Fantastic! (I might do a bit of work too, there’s still a lot on my to do list!)