Still too fast September 19, 2009

Since Greenbelt, I’ve been thinking a lot about how fast I run about the place. I am ruled by my to do list and rarely sit and do nothing. I’ve considered not wearing a watch, but decided this is not practical. I’ve tried to discipline myself to sit and be quiet each day. My work patterns don’t help this, and so even though I’m enjoying it when I do force myself to stop, it’s hard work to convince myself to sit and do nothing for a while, especially when I have a to do list running in my head. Now my to do lists aren’t that important. They contain things like ‘work on quilt’, ‘wash curtains’, ’sort out study material’ (Oh, I finally got confirmation that I passed!). So very little has to be done there and then, but I’m so used to doing! The aim is to be a human being not a human doing. I find that phrase helpful, but putting it into practice isn’t easy. I’m reading An Altar In The World which so far is reminding me to stop and be aware of (and in awe of) the things around me. Again, it’s the slowing down that’s the hard bit. Maybe I need to completely re-write my to do list, and have at the top of it ‘do nothing’ or ‘go for a walk’ or ‘just be for 30 mins’. mmmm…….