The weekend away was excellent. We took 20 young people and 8 leaders in the end. The theme was the River of God, and God challenged pretty much all of us, even the cooks who thought they were just coming to cook! I came home shattered, and didn’t manage to get to the 6.30pm service at church. How three of them on the weekend were involved with leading worship at the service, I don’t know!
I’ve just printed off my assignment which will go in the post tomorrow morning. Not quite sure how it all got done. I was way over the word limit, but after what I thought was only a small bit of editing, I was shocked to find myself within the word limit once again! Have hardly touched it since that point. I would have liked to have written more, but I only would have had to edit it again!
So now it is over. I have no idea what my life will be like from Wednesday, I have been living up to this point! Tomorrow will be a day off, and providing we get the car back from the garage before lunch, we’re off to the seaside. Then back to work Wednesday to see what I’ve been stuffing into my ‘to do’ drawer for the past week and a half or more! Apologies to Jam Mag who still haven’t received a cheque from me. I will get to it this week, honest!
But now – I can sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
weekend over, assignment done, sleep beckons January 29, 2007
shattered! January 22, 2007
I am absolutely exhausted. Today I’ve attended the staff meeting, been to the dentist, done the weekly food shop, cooked the alpha meal, and now I’m sat in front of my computer, trying to muster enough strength to do the days work! I think the bare minimum is a few emails, I ordered the shopping online for the youth weekend away earlier, so my most crucial task is done. I was then planning a late night writing my assignment, but I can’t see it happening right now. Perhaps a cup of tea and some of the leftover cakes from the alpha meal would help?! Won’t help my diet though!
Looking forward to a long lie in, and a restful day off tomorrow. I’ve been talking to hubby about a DVD day, I could do with a day on the sofa!
crazy week! January 18, 2007
Monday – staff meeting, weekly shopping trip, prepared CU (for today), and then maybe I did some study, I can’t really remember, but it was either work or study! Oh, and I had a meeting in the afternoon. That’s where the time went!
Tuesday – day off, went shopping, got refund for broken Christmas present, and violin bow mended. Didn’t buy anything, but husband did. Circuit training in the evening, which really exhausted me!
Wednesday – quiet day, God said lots of good stuff, and I still have some bible study to do that came up during the day. Got home, met with a young person, house group study on Col 1 v 15-21
Thursday – that’s today right? Got up, went to staff prayers, prepared for small group, got hot and sweaty burning calories, showered and changed before going out to do CU, completed small group prep, went to makro to buy tuck, sent a hurried email or two, had dinner, did small group, went out to celebrate two friends birthdays, completed prep for youth group tomorrow and stuff I want the printing team to photocopy tomorrow for me! Now I’m off to bed!
Tomorrow – study day at YMCA and then youth group.
Saturday will be spent preparing for Sunday and doing all the other things I’m supposed to do this week!
Note to self – a study day and a quiet day in one week leads to a very pressured week!
great weekend January 15, 2007
I’ve really enjoyed this weekend. Hubby was away, so I had the house to myself. I worked, I studied, I even cleaned the house! I love the satisfaction of completing a long to do list!
The three youth groups I run also went well. We had a blast on sunday morning, looking at the parable of the sower. We had lots of fun, leaders acting out the parable (instead of watching it out of Godspell as planned), playing a game with adverts and on the path/off the path, and I was amazed (but very pleased because it showed they grasped the point) when they guessed which story of a person related to each part of the parable. I realise that this probably makes no sense whatsoever, but it was fun and they learnt something!
I have a really busy week, with a quiet day and a study day! And I’ve been warned by the leader who spoke at our sunday night group last night, that the topic for my talk next week isn’t as simple as he first thought, and that I’ll need a lot of time to prepare! All to do with the greek word gnosis !
low periods and work January 11, 2007
I’ve been in a low since Monday, and its now Thursday. There have been times when I think it’s lifting (Tues evening and earlier this evening), but really it’s just that I’ve relaxed completely and am not letting my mind think about work or anything. I’ll do anything to avoid work, because work stresses me, it makes me want to cry. I can get the things done I need to, but it’s all very last minute. I don’t understand why this is, or what triggers my lows, but they do seem to be mainly connected with work. Mind you, even if I was in a social situation, I would feel similar – low and teary.
So the question I want to ask is, am I allowed to not work (or limit my work to the minimum) when I’m in a low? If I do it makes my life easier, and my husbands life easier. The only negative I can think of is that by not working, I have another negative thought to add to my low. I spent some time in prayer by myself this morning, feeling that it would do me better than going through the motions at the staff prayer meeting. That’s all I do when I’m in a low – go through the motions. Is my low an illness? Can I justify not working? The only way I can justify it is for my own mental health, or at least thats the way it feels.
How would I describe a low? A low generally occurs once a term, maybe once every two months. It may last two days, it may last a week. It’s a depression that comes over me. This time (and I think others) it begins with me having negative thoughts about something I’ve done. This then continues generally as a battle in my mind, and I believe I am completely useless. For some reason I cannot persuade myself that I’m ok like I normally can. Then the feeling takes hold – like a hole deep inside, it hurts, though I don’t notice it when I am relaxed and distracted (though it takes a good few hours to get to this state) Just beginning to think about stuff again brings it back. If I think about it, I could cry at anytime, all I have to do is register with the hurt I’m feeling inside. I generally try to ignore it and carry on. I’m also very snappy and any little thing will upset me. Coming out of the low normally happens one morning. I can’t think of anything else, though I wonder whether crying and talking help. I don’t really understand my lows, I’ve learnt how to cope (work very little, keep mind occupied with TV or anything to relax, escape thoughts by thinking of running away etc) I’ve tried to battle the thoughts this time, or at least not escape in my thoughts as often. I think this may have helped the thoughts a bit, or at least I’ve been able to stop thinking them as much, but the low is still there. The feeling I can’t seem to control. If there was something I could do to stop this I would. For now, I just have to ride this wave, and then work like hell when it’s over!
swimming pools January 11, 2007
I went swimming this afternoon. I was meant to go this morning, but had a meeting with a colleague instead, but then my afternoon mentoring session was cancelled, so my husband suggested I went swimming after the school CU. So off I went, did 30 lengths, not bad considering I can’t remember the last time I went. But with an aim of exercising three times a week, a swimming session was a bit of variety from my sad workout videos!
But what I was going to say, (however boring it is) was – have you ever noticed how run down swimming pools are? I counted at least 30 tiles missing from the wall by the deep end! Plus the tiles that are still on the wall are brown, not exactly colourful or inspiring! I got really bored swimming today, I was supposed to be relaxing (as much as you can relax as you swim), so I didn’t allow myself to think about much. So I counted tiles missing from the wall!
When I was doing my A-levels, I used to attend an adult swimming session which had relaxing music and lights, it created a lovely atmosphere, you just had to make sure you didn’t relax too much and fall asleep.
yummy! January 10, 2007
I’ve just made my first batch of lemon curd, and it’s yummy! I had three lemons leftover from youth group on sunday (we were tasting lemons as an activity to identify with the bitter moments of 2006). So, I looked at making lemon ice cream and lemon sorbet, but decided it was the wrong time of year for both of those. So a quick look for lemon recepies and I ended up making lemon curd. Really easy, and it doesn’t take too long.
For one jam jar and a ramekin’s worth (we only had one spare jam jar!), just mix the grated rind and juice of 3 lemons, 3 eggs, 3oz butter and 12oz sugar in a bowl over a pan of simmering water. Keep stirring for about 20 mins until it covers the back of a wooden spoon. Put into jars (and ramekin if you’re me) and let it cool. Refridgerate and eat within a month!
a top tip and a rant January 9, 2007
Spent our day off at the Science museum.
Top Tip – if you want to buy someone a cool present, check out the science museum shop! It rocks! Great for kids, and there’s a few things for teenagers and adults too!
Rant – it’s impossible to park down our street, considerable lack of space, on one side you have to legally mount the kerb, and the skill of parallel parking is essential! We came home to see parking tickets on two cars which were parked slightly over the lines. Thankfully our car is parked fine, but we are outraged on behalf of those who did get tickets! The whole situation is bad enough as it is, but to now start handing out parking tickets!
what a wonderful husband! January 8, 2007
I returned home last night after youth group to hear “you’re home too early”. I wasn’t that early, but hubby had been preparing a suprise for me. I stayed out of the way while he finished his preparations, and then it was ready. He had lit a candle, prepared the footspa for me, made a cup of hot chocolate and had (rather sadly, but it’s sweet) edited the highlights of celebrity big brother for me! What a star! A wonderful way to relax after youth group! I did ask him if I’ll get this treatment every week, and he said I’d have to wait and see!
6 years on January 8, 2007
Last night at church, I was reminded of an important moment for me that happened six years ago. Each year, my home church has a bible verse for the year (kinda like a motto). In 2001, it was Luke 4 v 18-19 The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.
A familiar verse to many, but special to me. It wasn’t just the verse, but through the sermon that I felt God speaking to me. I can’t remember the details now, but I know it was important enough for me to keep the verse card, and I put it on my office wall as a reminder. Although I had already begun to explore whether full time ministry was for me, this was my first big piece in the jigsaw puzzle of my calling! It’s one of those verses that I read again when things are tough, just to remember how I got into all this stuff in the first place!
